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I've got a headache. And I never get headaches. I suppose I should take an advil or something. Thankfully when I do get them, and take that, they go away. I can't even remember the last one I had. Migrains run in my family. My brother and mother get them all the time. Thankfully I've never had one.

My moms been calling me a lot. She wants to talk. I ignore her calls. And I don't have voicemail. So she emails me, all concerned. And I delete them

But this is hardly some new game. I get guilted in to talking to her again and again. I'm pretty tired of it. I get asked why I don't call her, and I tell her that I'm busy. Then I get told "You're always busy" ...

So that's the three magic words. Those are the ones that can be spoken to make it even harder to reach me. Like 3-6 months, maybe a year, maybe never.. hard to reach me.
I know I sound like an arrogant prick saying this. But if nothing, I'm honest.

- Keman


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 21st, 2005 09:00 pm (UTC)
Because there's nothing I'm interested in talking to her about. I'm uninterested in her input, morals, values, religion, etc. I would not voluntarily choose her as a friend.

After what she did to me in the past when I tried to open up to her, she sealed the deal on that one.

Even now .. almost 9 years later.. afters years of apologizing, not talking, talking, living local and living far apart .. I still cringe at the idea of talking to her. I have no desire to be around my family, to associate with them, to be a part of what they are.

Further, I loathe the 'responsibility' of having to talk to ones parents. The supposed guilt when not doing so. My solution to this is swift and cold.

My real family are my friends, or those who I'd consider my pack. They play a role in shaping my life ... they share my ideas, support my identity, and understand who I am. All the things my parents and family are not capable of doing.

- Keman
Oct. 21st, 2005 08:46 pm (UTC)
Talk to your mom. If no one else, do talk to your mom.
Oct. 21st, 2005 09:01 pm (UTC)
Fuck that. See above. I'm tired of faking it. It's more than just distance that seperates she and I.

- Keman
Oct. 21st, 2005 11:48 pm (UTC)
My mom guilt trips me to talk with her lots and go visit... I live roughly an hour away and such, but there is so much of me that understands what you are saying here. I'm technically not on bad terms with my family, but the nagging of my mother just is really grating at times and definitely makes me want to not visit and such like what you're saying here...

Friends come and go, but at times family is the one constant we do have... Wouldn't hurt to try to fix the bridges, but that is completely up to you wuff. I hope that things get better for you and such.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )


Galen Wolffit

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