I've given this a lot of thought since then.
I think I don't like who I am and so representing who I am at a social setting creates feelings that I resent.
And I think the degree to which others appreciate "me" increases these feelings of resentment to a greater severity, because I lack the internal appreciation that they outwardly show.
This stark contrast shapes my actions and finally I withdraw into my shell and don't want to be around anyone.
I can't be myself, and even if I am .. I'm just a stranger. I live in a world of Werewolves that externally I am not, and I'm constantly torn between diving into a mindset and personality that fits wonderfully... and standing tall and strong having adapted to appear perfectly normal in a world that isn't, to me. The "happy medium" seems like being half drunk. Is that really a good place to try to be 24x7?
Comments and suggestions are as always.. welcome.