Galen Wolffit (wolffit) wrote,
Galen Wolffit
wolffit

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Paintball? What a joke...

So I just got back from the worst day of paintball I've experienced.

I've played a lot in the past, I've played on leagues in tournaments. The first and most expensive thing I purchased when I got a "real" job making $8.50 an hour eleven years ago was the very paintball gun that I used today. It's old, but it's reliable and was so far ahead of it's time that today the only drawback is it's shear weight and it's inefficient use of CO2-- it sucks it down more than twice as fast as a modern gun.

What was fun about today?

Fields were well designed
weather was good -- there was rain in the end but it was at the end so no big deal.
my gun operated flawlessly
referees were good

... notice that nowhere in there did I say "We had the entire field to ourselves, so there were no uber tournament team member walk-ons looking to light up a few n00bs."

Oh, we did have the field to ourselves.

The bads:

Teams incredibly mismatched. Lets see. On one team: Two people who have never played before, one rusty person (myself) who made pretty clear up front that I'm by no means any good at paintball and haven't played in years, and a few mediocre players who had great spirit and motivation but unfortunately they were a bit blind because on the other team:

The person who origanized it-- surprise surprise! He's a great player. His wife-- a law enforcement officer who demonstrated some of the best tactical maneuvers that I've ever seen in my life. A very seasoned player with clearly the longest range and most advanced paintball gun there, and a couple of other people who were very seasoned and demonstrated excellent coordination and skill, who also had very nice guns.

Hm. Seem a bit off?

Well then, no surprise that on one game it was an absolute SHUTOUT. The first game I've ever played in my life I might add, where every single member on my team was eliminated and every single member on the other team remained standing.

There were a few other bullshit aspects. The person organizing the event expressed severe distaste in my style of play, which is to hang back and snipe.

Lets see. My gun is 4' long, weighs 24 lbs when full, and has an 18" sniper barrel. Add to that the fact that my ADHD meds make it real hard for me to run without overworking my heart (something I became PAINFULLY aware of this afternoon, oif. First heavy exercise I've done on this particular med. Next time I leave it at home.)

I tried explaining this and all I caught was flack.

Ohhh.. soo fucken sorry. I guess that was the one game where that particular person got shot out.

I thought the day was going to be great, honestly. I was really looking forward to it. I sure spent a lot of money on field fees, so that I could AVOID this kind of bullshit. Everyone there, individually, are really nice people. They are all however, Galens friends, people whom I really know very little about.

Suffice to say, I'll not be playing paintball with these people again. After the event, I mentioned my misgivings to a few of Galens friends, and got a response of "Well, we made (person who coordinated the event) happy, so that's all that really matters. He wasn't having a very good time at the beginning (he ran out of paint in the first round, waahh wahhhh wahh), so that's why we adjusted the teams to be more in his favor (making a killer team into an unstoppable team). This is of course the same person who called the 20' rule when a teammate and I had cornered him behind a bush, and not more than 90 seconds later he lit us up from less than 15 feet away. Right smack in my head, too. He even later said that's the only part of me he could see, but took painstaking measures to make sure he was more than 20' away from us. Fucken -whatever- ... if I'd thrown my gun, which I can't throw far, it'd have hit him.

Galen was smart. He caught on to this and switched teams from ours to theirs. Funny that he started winning and enjoying himself immediately. Hey, I couldn't blame him. We were against unstoppable odds. The only games we won were in the beginning, and once they stole our best players, we didn't win a single game after that.

My body is a collection of bruises from where I got lit up like a christmas tree. Some of the welts are severe, the one under my hamstring is the size of a golfball and hurts to walk on it. These battlescars are normally appreciated-- I'm not a picky player! Because I know I suck, I walk on with very low expectations in a given game. I go out, I snipe, I have fun. Normally the referees prevent this type of bullshit from happening. But with a private group where we're making our own teams, I think all they could do was sit back and laugh.

As an aside, I found a tick in my wrist upon showering this evening. Joy.

I hate to bash some really nice people. The wife of the one who coorinated the event even made us sandwhiches. Overall, they're very cool people. There just seems... to be something a bit off. Maybe the drive to win is too high. Maybe they're just not understanding. Maybe they were having a bad day. Ohwell. You don't do this shit to people who have never played before. I mean, come on. One of the guys who hasn't played before was the FATHER of the freakin guy who coordinated the event!

I can't believe we lost with an absolute shutout. "Friendly competition" my ass! If I were on the winning team, I'd be handing out apologies and making immediate changes to the team variety. That's horrible. Against a team with two new guys who have never even picked up a paintball gun before? ... I'd say there's an absence of malice, but it's either a gross mistake or a clear display of it.

- Keman
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