My mom calls. "You don't call us anymore..."
Ok, FFS ... I'm reaching my limit for how often I hear that. I've moved my massive beam of analysis to this problem and pondered it for a while.
In short, there seems to be some disconnection with the concept that someone can be A. Thoughtful, caring, respectful. and at the same time B. Unable to be reached most of the time. and finally C. Rarely if ever calls.
Now, the truth is I don't enjoy talking to my parents. A lot of my life is hidden from them, and talking with anyone without being myself means I go into "emulation" mode, and like any emulator .. it isn't efficient, it takes resources, and often has bugs. Point is, I don't like doing it. And no, telling my parents that I'm a gay Werewolf is not gonna happen. They know I'm gay, it took them about 6 years to get over that and believe me, those that know my story of what happened when I did come out will probably never forget it. Some friends are amazed I will even talk to my parents after what they did to me.
So. Anyhow. I've got this great defense mechanism to problems like this. It's called ADD. I just.. stop thinking about it and WOOSH ... it falls off the stack and I don't think about it again for weeks, months, years.
If only it were so nice. Yeah, it's convenient. But what about when I actually /want/ to put forth the effort to talk to someone who I don't enjoy talking to, just out of respect, ie: like my parents. Afterall, I *am* caring, I *am* respectful of others emotions, and I *do* appreciate what positive things they've done for me.
Well we'll just turn this ADD thing off-- ohwait. I can't do that.
I guess I'm just a selfish bastard who thinks only about himself. :/