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Madrigalness

I should be asleep. Instead, I'm writing. This is for Madrigal.

I sit in my arcane sanctum, as I have done dozens, hundreds of times before, only this time for a different purpose. I sit here now to meditate, to focus on that which burns within me, to feel my connection to Fire, that element which I have sworn an oath to, which fuels my magic, which is, of all the elements, most a part of me. I have meditated many times before, and this time, I use the technique which I am most familiar with.

I sit, the flame of my scrying bowl before me, and extend my hands, letting them hover over the coals. I draw the warmth of the fire into me though my hands, as I begin. Closing my eyes, I imagine before me a ball of… I am not sure what, exactly, but it is there, a dark sphere, glowing with energy. I see beneath it my hands, and beneath them, the fire. I picture my surroundings – the cabin, the Company, the hubbub of Shadowfane. In my mind, the ball of energy before me begins to draw it all in. All the distractions of life in Shadowfane begin to collapse into that sphere, but the fire remains. The sounds of the Company preparing for an evening meal fade, and all that surrounds me collapses into a single point, the center of the sphere, until the only thing left is the fire beneath my hands. That too, then, gets drawn in. The ball of energy becomes... fire. No longer a dark thing crackling with energy, it is now bright, oranges and yellows, swirling as the Fire does in my hands before I hurl it at a foe. This time though, I will not be casting it away from me. This time, I take a deep breath, and picture the ball of fire drawing towards me. My hands, no longer hovering over my bowl, turn upwards and slowly rise towards me, pulling the ball of fire with them until it is within me, then draw it down, until it is at the very center of my being. Thus centered, my meditation begins.

The fire expands, filling my consciousness, or perhaps drawing my consciousness into it, until I am one with the fire. I feel its warmth, radiating throughout my awareness. I see the light it casts, illuminating the deepest recesses of my mind. I hear the crackling and popping of a campfire, the roar of an inferno, the silence of a fire where nothing else remains. The scent of burning wood pervades, drawing my thoughts to a winter’s night. I take a deep breath, and taste the flame and the smoke as it passes through my mouth and into my lungs. My every sense delights in the fire, and the world fades.

I open the eyes of my mind, and see Fire. I have left the world behind, and sit now in Its realm. I am no longer myself, no longer the flesh and bone and blood that is Adeon. I am, for now, a creature of Fire. Adeon still, but not the Adeon who walks the land and summons Fire through magic. Around me are others of my kind. Elementals, creatures of Fire, large and small. Tiny flames, young and full of energy, dart around, coming close to see what this new creature in their midst might be, near me for a single heartbeat, then gone. Larger flames, Elementals in their own right, observe me from a distance, no doubt wondering what sort of creature I am, who is both one of them and not. Feeling a Presence behind me, I turn, but nothing is there. Once again I close my eyes, and draw the Fire into me.

I can feel inside of me the essence of Fire. I can feel where I first bound myself to Fire, in my youth before the War. I can feel where I bound myself to Fire once again, swearing an oath to it as my ancestors once did. I can feel it through the Arcane, from my connection to a Nexus of Fire. These things I have felt before. This time, though, I can feel something more. This time, I can feel what I am connected to. I draw the Fire into me, and I let it change me. I open the eyes of my mind again, and I remain in Fire’s realm. This time, the Elementals come close to me, perceiving that I have changed, that I am one of their own. This time, they speak to me, not in words, but in… there is not even a word for it. Through them, I know what it is to BE fire. Once again, I feel a presence behind me. Once again, I turn and it is gone. I close my eyes, and once more, draw the fire into me.

I take a breath, and slowly open my eyes. I sit where I did before, in my arcane sanctum. The fire beneath my hands has grown larger, and has enveloped my hands in flame.. no, not that. I lift my hands from the fire, but the flame remains. I look down, and see that my entire body has changed, I look in the real world as I did in Fire’s realm, a creature of Fire. The Presence I felt twice behind me, I now feel within me. I still know not what it is, but it is there, watching, waiting. Again I close my eyes, and again I draw the fire into me. I imagine a dark sphere within me, and draw the fire into it. The warmth fades as the fire recedes, until all that remains is the dark sphere. Even that, then, collapses into itself. Slowly, the sounds of Shadowfane return. I open my eyes again, and I am Adeon once more. I can feel within me the Fire, and know that I can draw on it, become it, when the need arises. I can feel within me also the Presence, though its nature eludes me. Perhaps further meditation will help reveal it to me. This, though, at another time. I can smell the fire outside, and it smells like dinner.

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Galen
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Galen Wolffit

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