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I'm here at the fucking buttcrack of dawn during a maintenance window for replacing some hardware at our colo center. And noone else is here. I page the guy who's supposed to be meeting up with me and he calls back all bleary eyed. "I'm really sorry dude... I'll be there in a half hour."


I'm the new guy. Better him late than me!

So now I'll just browse furry pr0n till he gets here and go paw off in the mens bathroom. Hey, the place is empty. Why not? Don't act like you've never wanted to... (kudos to those of you who already have)

This raises the most interesting question of:

What is the strangest location you've pawed yourself off? Me: Cramped bathroom at 30k feet.

- Keman


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 19th, 2005 02:46 pm (UTC)
Heheh. Cramped bathroom while submerged more than 600 feet. =^.^=
Feb. 19th, 2005 03:40 pm (UTC)
I can beat that...fan room behind navigation at more than 800 feet. :)
And once above the main condensate tank in the engine room during Field Day.
Feb. 19th, 2005 05:14 pm (UTC)
Well, if you wanna get technical, I've done a bit more'n just pawing in the fan room, but tha's another topic, now ain't it? :-D

And most of the engine room has received my custom "seal of approval" at some point or another. Deployments are good for that sorta thing.
Feb. 20th, 2005 04:43 am (UTC)
On Field Day? That's just tacky. Officer comes in, something drips off the ceiling you 'painted'... :)

Instant fail.


Would be interesting to hear icecor's "Sex in a Voidspace" post, as long as you're safely out of the service, not subject to disciplinary.
Feb. 19th, 2005 03:59 pm (UTC)
You whacked off TWICE today? *grrrrr*

Feb. 19th, 2005 09:59 pm (UTC)
Tee hee...

- Keman
Feb. 19th, 2005 04:56 pm (UTC)
That would either be:

- Bathroom of an office building where I'm working, during a power outage, in the men's urinal. Even if someone had walked in, they'd have never seen me...


- Middle of the woods on a hiking trail, finishing and zipping up just before I heard a group of campers turning the corner. They had no idea. :)
Feb. 19th, 2005 05:12 pm (UTC)
I think I can beat everyone hands down.

In a church baptismal.

(OK, it was actually the changing room that lead into the baptismal, but still close enough that if anyone had been in the audience, they'd probably have heard me.)
Feb. 20th, 2005 02:21 am (UTC)
While intermittently treading water in a lake in front of a friend's house in Michigan. O:-)
Feb. 20th, 2005 04:29 am (UTC)
The posting above 'in water' reminded me of one a few years back. In the Sea of Cortez, about 30 feet down, on a breathhold dive, naked, upside-down, legs spread, wanking until my little fishes burst into a larger ocean. Yes, single breathhold dive following hyperventilation. Dove already erect, swimsuit tied on one arm. dove to neutral buoyancy, head down, pelvis up toward the angelic fingers of light. Good orgasm. Breath control can enhance orgasm.

Does wanking include plushies? In that case:

In my Commander and Department Head's office, with a huge polystyrene foam bead plushie dolphin, in a .mil cot, during a bullshit nighttime 'sleeping firewatch' (steel office on steel ship!). Not so unusual, cept said department head came to his office and caught me in the middle of my faux beastiality. Bit of a tense moment. Almost as tense as when I came strongly inside her, in my rack, and fell asleep. Penis shriveled, a lot of her bead stuffing flowed out of my rack into the berthing space. They weigh almost nothing and carry a strong static charge, so they float along on the slightest air, then stick to walls, ceilings, ductwork... Caused enough of a panic officers were sent to track down the source. Had to try to explain, and pick up every tiny foam bead in the berthing space. Luckily, got a berthing space to myself later that WestPac, and screwed that dolphin around the world. While my shipmates were out rapin tiny girls in Subic, I felt no such sexual pressure.

Mundane places with plushies: Greydog bus baths; 737 baths; in van parked at end of military airport at night; on top of a mangrove marsh, on a thicket of mangroves, on an isolated key off Key West; in many boats and ships including during a dangerous storm in a research ship doing fixed survey tracks; under the floor tiles under a floating floor in a mainframe computing center with people walking overhead; in cars in parking lots and keeper areas at a few zoos and aquaria; on a flat smooth rock out over/in the water just off Esalen in Big Sur (in view of everyone and later repeated in the grass and on the massage tables over the mud baths); in a dolphin plushie in a room out over swimming dolphins; gay bathhouse in front of watchers; with furries at the first 'plushie parties' of ConFURence. I'm sure I've forgotten many. Used to be a spunky monkey...

When I think of it there -were- several more 'unusual' ... but I dare not post them here--and discourage /anyone/ from copping to /any/ crime on LiveJournal...

captpackrat, teh winner is you! Tho if you burn you'll have my company. I'm surely headed fur a warmer clime. Hope the HellBunnies have lots of DemonLoob(TM).

BTW, 'Constantine' is a decent flick. Go see...
Feb. 20th, 2005 11:23 am (UTC)
on your couch while you were in the shower :P

or maby on the ambo's desk somewhere.. im not sure which is better :)
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )