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Some of my past...

At first it was funny. I even liked the attention: 9 years ago when I moved to california at the age of 20 to live with my then-mate Phyxis, I quickly gained the reputation of "boy toy", "twink", "dumb blond", and phyxis was to be my "sugar daddy" ...

About 6 months in this came back around to me in a negative manner, and I felt shocked. I immediately dropped the axe to sever whatever indications of this bullshit were which I could find. It took a long time, and even years later I'd make new friendships with people who, after getting to know me, would subsequently exclaim "Wow, you're a lot smarter than what some people told me about."

Slowly but surely, it transformed from "Yeah Keman's off working on his penis extension." to a more respectful "Keman's working on that mustang of his again, re-engineering it all on his own." .. and btw, I'm greater-than 8", so no really, I don't -need- an extension. That car and any other I own or have owned wasn't purchased to make up for some shortcoming on my behalf. I don't "show them" and they do nothing to make my life more "successful" ... they serve a purpose, and that purpose is to have fun and learn new things.

Yet still, even to this day, these disrespectful reputations remain. I occasionally hear it, mostly from friends on the west coast. Some people apparently refuse to believe that Phyxis didn't buy my way into life. And now it's thought that GALEN has purchased my way into life, and that he is now my sugar daddy.

Some clarifications:

When I moved from Michigan to VA, it was expensive. I borrowed over $10k from Galen to do it. It's amazing the costs that accrue during a move, especially with a short length of unemployment subsequently following the move. And I paid back every single dollar. He made sure of it, as anyone knows he's very responsible with money and simply writing it off just because we're in a relationship was not in the game plan. The grace he granted me was that he didn't charge me any interest.

100% of the Audi S4's initial downpayment, monthly payments, and insurance payments, are paid for by me.

The thunderbird was, and is, paid for by me.

The Mustang would be on the track, being raced all the time, except that I cannot afford to both race it and save for the house that Galen and I want to buy together. So it sits parked in the garage, as it has for years. I have no tow vehicle (I traded it for the audi), and my race trailer was stolen a few days after moving here. It was uninsured.

That being said, I'm well aware of the not-so-nice aspects about me. If people want to have a reputation about me, make sure they include the following:

I'm an asshole. Opinionated, aggressive, hostile, uncaring, vicious, self important, arrogant, ignorant, anti social, uncooperative, argumentative, controlling, manipulative, greedy, and careless.

If people have a burning desire to put me down, there is no shortage of faults to find. I'd just appreciate it if they would spend the time to find them, instead of making stupid shit up. And while they're at it, I'd appreciate it if they'd pause for a moment and think about why they're doing that. I almost never try to hurt people, what have I done to you?

Oh I know I've started some shit. And I know I've said my share of nasty things. This isn't about that. If anyone judges me by my looks or actions alone, they just destined themselves to failure. I'm a real piece of work, and even my enemies should realize there's a hell of a lot more than what meets the eye.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 11th, 2006 05:35 pm (UTC)
If people are sitting around talking shit about you, they must be really transcendentally bored. I can't imagine Galen inviting anybody into his life who wasn't, at his core, a valuable person to have around -- and that's just for starters. Jebus, I can't imagine what the rumor mill says about me -- perhaps that I boycotted Meat and Fire because GraySoul decided about a year ago, maybe more, I don't keep track, that he didn't like me anymore? Actual facts: (a) I don't live in the area anymore; (b) more importantly, I was having an MRI that day. Unfortunately, medical procedures are higher on my priority list than furry picnics. It's just like that sometimes!

I think a person should be allowed to have hobbies and in fact be passionate about them without allegations of "compensating for something."

BTW, speaking of cars and racing them when time and money allow, do you know mrcougar? If not, you should. He's extremely cool.
May. 11th, 2006 05:57 pm (UTC)
Your faults make you who you are. Yeah we tend to fight at times because our faults collide. I'm arrogant, snobbish, power-hungry, greedy, cliqueuish, domineering, irrationally loyal, and self-centered.

Yet we still get along great. And yes I will slap you shitless if you fuck me over, but i forgive and get over it. You do the same. Things work well. Long as you never lie to me. And your not a liar.
May. 11th, 2006 06:54 pm (UTC)
Everyone has their flaws and short comings Keman. The person that I've seen is not perfect. No one is. I know I'm certainly not perfect. I see a very intelligent individual, someone that is very interesting and innovative. Yes I know I'm using a lot of "I" words. I feel very honored to know you. I don't know much about your past, and in truth it doesn't matter all that much. You are you, and I like you how you are. *hugs*

Continue doing your hobbies and all the things you enjoy doing. Don't stop doing the things you enjoy just because people may be derogatory. You don't need approval from others on the things you like to do. Do them because that is what you want to do. You don't have to include everyone in your activities, only the people that you want and that would appreciate such things.
May. 11th, 2006 07:59 pm (UTC)
If there was one fault that I could/would criticize you for, it's that you have historically (at least to me) been far more defensive about certain things than you had to be. I haven't seen that of late, so I don't know if it's because I don't see as much of you any more, or it's because I've not discussed you with anyone else in a while (due to lack of there being a point to it).

Then again, I have my own faults. So why should I throw stones at anyone else, when I'm living in a glass house of my own?
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


Galen Wolffit

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