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This weeks corporate buzzword at my company:

"Action items" : Something agreed to be done as a result of a discussion at a meeting and usually recorded in the minutes of that meeting.

It's important to be pro-active in producing action items in a such a way that they deliver a synergistic effect, leading the way to project completion.

*gag*

- Keman

Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
murakozi
Mar. 15th, 2005 08:49 pm (UTC)
Aw heck, that's an oldie but a goodie.

You left out any mention of 'core business' and 'customer base.'
doniago
Mar. 15th, 2005 09:36 pm (UTC)
Do you find that action items are a useful tool in maximizing efficiency and reducing overhead shortages?

(ducks and runs)
captpackrat
Mar. 15th, 2005 10:05 pm (UTC)
For your next meeting:
toob
Mar. 15th, 2005 10:22 pm (UTC)
Re: For your next meeting:
Hmm, some of those are total BS, but some of them are valid words that actually have meaning, so I'd say that game doesn't really work, and accuse the author of not putting enough creativity into his project. :)
(Deleted comment)
aerowolf
Mar. 16th, 2005 01:34 am (UTC)
What's your opinion of Six Sigma?
che_fox
Mar. 16th, 2005 05:37 am (UTC)
I'd rather have 8 nines than six sigmas!

Or maybe you're worried you won't reach 3.4 DPMO.

I can help you develop a house of quality matrix if you want.

aerowolf
Mar. 16th, 2005 06:53 am (UTC)
The problem with Six Sigma is something that most people don't realize: every opportunity to apply Six Sigma is an opportunity for a defect in the Six Sigma application process.

At various places (such as, say, a major financial/accounting software company that I don't dare name), the Six Sigma process requires a full feasability study that requires an outlay at the beginning of it. Without the initial outlay being approved and spent on such a study, you can't implement a change... and the process for determining what feasability study outlays to make is political and not meritous.

This means that their Six Sigma process can use some Six Sigma fine-tuning of its own. But they'll never listen.
(Deleted comment)
kyhwana
Mar. 16th, 2005 12:39 am (UTC)
pro-active! Action items! synergistic! IE, BULLSHIT.
aldebron
Mar. 16th, 2005 04:16 am (UTC)
well you just need to show up to work all bloody from a fight the night before and start flying around the country setting up boxing clubs :) everything will be just fine
doniago
Mar. 16th, 2005 04:27 am (UTC)
Thank you Mr. Durden. :)
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )